This Is What You Came For

Finding yourself enthralled by this sort of narrative, it’s about Travis and Taylor, or whoever, but it’s very much about you.

Taylor Swift has a new boyfriend. Possibly! Maybe? We need this. Lately, the world has been exceptionally exhausting.; a joyous event unfolding before our eyes, even if carefully crafted in some PR office, we’ll take it. Lie to us! But lie well. So far it has been well. Someone on Twitter phrased it beautifully: “It’s awesome, it’s fun and it’s American culture in all its corn-syrup glory. Are you not entertained?”. Yes we are @awi_sinha, yes we are.

Some could say we discovered Travis Kelce through Taylor Swift. And I would say I discovered her through him.

I didn’t always understand the phenomenon of Taylor. Huge fan base, awards in plenty; I couldn’t quite see it. I’ve heard her perform live and Adele, she wasn’t. In fact, people on The American Idol sounded better than her. It took me a little while to grasp what it is about her that makes her a global phenomenon. The understanding of music. Melody. Arrangements. Songwriting. And above all - storytelling.

And boy can she tell a story.

When I started to really dig her was when I realized all her songs are about some boy or a man she dated. That also came in three stages for me. First was, wow, petty, love it. Second was, a bit tongue-in-cheek, is it? The third was a realization that was all too familiar to me: I lived this story, and I own it, it’s mine and I can talk about it.

Too often we witness men run around disturbing women they aren’t ready for, playing house, flawed as they are, banging on you to accept things you didn’t sign up for. Convincing you suffering is just a part of love, and that’s our story, baby. Take it, have it. Claim it. Except, when the relationship or dalliance is over, they no longer want you to have that story. They are bothered when you remind them of it, and even more so if you tell it.

Her songs were fuck you, I lived this and I can talk about it. And if you’re bothered with it, why did you do it then?

I can’t count how many times I got a call from an ex-boyfriend trying to police my articles. And I’m no Taylor, I’m subtle. “Why did you write this and this, I wasn’t that bad, why are you making it sound so much worse than it was”? Because our story is 50% mine and 50% yours. I lived it, it’s my life, my experience - how come it was fine to do it, but not fine to talk about?

I never discussed my breakups publicly, he didn’t either. Call it - we both have nukes so no one is throwing one. But my life will always be present in my art. Once, he tried to blackball one of my articles from being published, where I analyzed the society trying to convince you any man is better than no man. He was a man, certainly not any, but not for me. The audacity to expect my articles shouldn’t draw inspiration from my own experiences so that he wouldn’t be confronted with the reality of his actions was rich.

His offenses are not an offense, but my writing about his offenses are an offense.

Jake Gyllenhaal didn’t like All Too Well either. It has nothing to do with him, he says, it was just her “expression”.

I was always a fan of this pink panther move of men who willingly inflict things on you but end up bewildered by your account of it.

“And you call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest” - will always be the sharpest sword. The art of hurting you with a sidebar of - I’m just being transparent. Actually, no, buddy. Transparent means explaining your heart before you do something, before the fact. They are grown adults who think being transparent means doing some shit and just telling us about it, after the fact. 

Was this loud?

Sorry was I loud? In my own house. That I bought. With the songs that I wrote. About my own life.

I’m very into this cultural explosion of Taylor Swift, not overly sexy for a pop star, with a nerdy sense of style and awkward dance moves - while rolling an impressive Rolodex of men. It’s not her monumental fame but her confidence in what she is, outside of everyone’s expectations, that is her biggest flex. It’s attractive.

And if you’re able to have a Rolodex, it’s a sin not to go through it. Resentment that echoed in the society about Taylor and “many” men she dated always tipped me off, as a true Sagittarius, holding a door for Taylor, another Sagittarius; I want to give you a meal for thought - it’s easy to assemble these moral standards when no one wants you.

I always liked her roster, but Taylor was ready for Travis Kelce. And most importantly, we were ready for Travis Kelce.

Why are we all so taken with this guy? Because he’s pursuing a woman he’s ready for. Read that again.

There’s something about a guy who knows who he is, and he knows exactly what he can pull off, he precisely goes where he needs to go to move mountains to work in his favor. He’s Hollywood peak-level hot and he knows he can pull a Swift. He’s slightly show-boating yes, but he understands the popular culture well and he’s giving the masses exactly what we need.

He knows us well enough to give us the optics of jumping in a 1970s Chevy convertible with her, post game. He’s giving us 90’s movie teen movie, John Hughes or Licence to Drive; pick your poison.

He’s giving Americans their own Posh & Becks, less cool than the original, but every generation deserves their own athlete/pop-star reign to measure their life.

But don’t let the visuals fool you. This merger is obviously much more than optics. Monica Hesse had a similar train of thought on the matter. In her piece for The Washington Post, she says:

“There’s an interesting case study here in what kind of celebrity power couples are acceptable and what kind are not, in what makes red-pilled fans decide that a beautiful woman is not a “Stacy” but just a self-obsessed bee-yotch.

Swift’s politics undoubtedly have something to do with it. In 2016, white supremacists were holding up Swift as an “Aryan Goddess”, but that was before Swift started speaking out for gun control, gay rights, and feminism, and calling President Donald Trump’s regime an “autocracy.” This month she encouraged her Instagram followers to register to vote, and the nonpartisan site she directed them to saw an immediate 1,000 percent spike in visitors. A woman like that is supposed to stick to dating softbois and poets (paging Timothée Chalamet), not rizzing up a superjock and screaming him on at the game.

Swift’s power undoubtedly has something to do with it. To those lamenting the relationship, Swift’s wealth and fame do not appear to be assets but rather threats, and signs that what she needs is a relationship that will take her down a peg or two. The same internet commenter who noted that Swift was turning Kelce into a “beta male” also commented that he had previously thought that “Travis was the alpha male Taylor Swift needed.” Instead, there was Kelce on the podcast he hosts with his brother, sweetly talking about how he had made Swift a “friendship bracelet” with his phone number on it, hoping to give it to her when she was in town for a concert. He wasn’t able to get through her security phalanx to arrange a drop-off, and they ended up meeting in person later, under different circumstances.

Making! A! Friendship! Bracelet! What was he even thinking, preemptively friend-zoning himself with a homemade craft? Might as well boil a pot of tea and get a cat.

The Taylor Swift backlash is a heightened illustration of the tightrope many famous women find themselves walking. She should be beautiful but not know it, have a lovely voice but not a loud opinion. Her feelings, if she has them, should be kept to herself or left to the masses to speculate over and imbue with meaning. She might be a worldwide influencer, but once she is in a relationship, it is she who should be influenced.”

My initial glimpse of Travis Kelce, perhaps as you did too, came through a video on the football field. He looked up, smiling and squinting in a cinematic, contemplative manner. His expression seemed to narrate a tale that I instantly wanted to read. The more I discovered - his tone of voice, constant joy, dancing, and effortless blend of confidence and humility; it was inevitable to draw comparisons with men I know or knew in the past.

Yeah, it’s easy to be a famous, rich athlete and be well-adjusted. But is it really? How many men do you know, public figures or just in your circle who can’t seem to align with themselves?

Taylor and Travis aren’t just a cultural explosion because of the merger of their enormous fan bases. They are a societal explosion by which we measure our own lives. They feel like what a healthy relationship should be. They both seem excited about each other’s careers and respectful of each other’s influence. They both seem to understand when to be a sidebar when the other is performing. It doesn’t matter who is more successful or who’s alpha or beta, they are both one or the other. “An elaborate scene of drawn-out pleasure, of almosts and near-misses, of denial and the controlling of masculine and feminine subject positions.”

I appreciate a spin by Anne Helen Petersen:

“Finding yourself enthralled by this sort of narrative, it’s about Travis and Taylor, or whoever, but it’s very much about you. You can take the basic architecture of a narrative fantasy and decorate it with the specifics of your own experience. That doesn’t (necessarily) involve taking up the role of Taylor or Travis within the existing narrative. It means you think about a Taylor-and-Travis-like scenario unfurling in your own life. A hot, thoughtful, BIG guy who also appreciates and respects your power and talent? Hello! It fosters or returns you to a feeling of frisson, the near-nausea that is the falling in love, not the longer (and differently fulfilling) labor of love itself.”

It’s my duty to finish off with sex.

Also Anne Helen: “The slow burn of the last few months has provided deep anticipatory pleasure — for Swift and Kelce, sure (and there’s ample speculation about what good sex she’s having). But it’s also offering a secondary form of pleasure for the fans, who assemble the disparate threads of the narrative.

There’s good sex, and then there’s an athlete good sex. Especially this athlete. And this woman deserves her screams.

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