Angelina Jolie, Louis Garrel, and the cast of Couture attended the film’s premiere at Pathé Palace in Paris. Louis and Angelina are rumored to be dating. The comments on social media flooded in: “She could be his mother.” “She’s too old for him.” “He should run.”
Angelina is 50 years old, Louis is 42.
I’ve been seeing this kind of commentary for years on the posts of many famous women over 45 — Kate Beckinsale, Sienna Miller, Heidi Klum, Sam Taylor-Johnson, and others. These comments are usually made by very young women, often sounding angry about how these women dress, how active they are on social media, how playful they are in their posts — but especially when they date younger men.
When I see men leaving these comments, I don’t flinch. They’re so obviously bitter and pathetic — a statistic that doesn’t deserve our time, no matter how ridiculous they sound.
But when women do this, it hurts me.
How can we do this to eachother, given everything that exists on this earth is constantly against us?
Internalized ageism, repackaged as concern.
What’s happening here?
Just take a look at some of these comments directed at Angelina:
I attempted to examine this phenomenon of women behaving this way toward women older than them — check out the post below to understand the response it attracted. 1 million views, over 2,000 comments, over 7,000 shares.
What is happening with this youth panic disguised as morality?
Why does a woman living freely bother other (younger) women so much?
It’s because a woman who ages without apology unsettles the fantasy.
It goes deeper.
As I already said, this youth panic, disguised as morality, is age anxiety projected outward. It’s self-hatred on delay.
The fear isn’t age, it’s freedom. It’s the audacity to be with a younger man.
These are the same young women who insist they’re progressive, liberal, and pro-choice, then suddenly become guardians of who women are allowed to date once they cross an invisible age line.
This isn’t about concern. It’s internalized ageism dressed up as judgment. A belief quietly absorbed early on — that a woman’s value peaks young, and anything after that is embarrassing, predatory, or sad. Seeing an older woman desired and unapologetic about it threatens that narrative.
If women don’t expire on schedule, then youth stops being a guarantee. And that’s unsettling. The real discomfort isn’t her age — it’s her freedom. A woman who keeps living, dating, breathing, and taking up space long past the moment she was supposed to disappear.
Again, why is this happening?
It’s a mix of social conditioning, fear, and competition, and not something innate.
It’s because patriarchy teaches women that their value expires. From a young age, women are told youth = worth. Older women who are visible, confident, desired, or free directly threaten that lie.
It’s because of internalized misogyny. Instead of questioning the system that pits women against time, some younger women turn that anxiety outward and police other women.
It’s the scarcity mindset around men. Culture frames male attention as limited and something women must compete for. An older woman who doesn’t “step aside” disrupts that narrative.
It’s the fear of their own future. Seeing older women living fully forces a confrontation with aging, and many respond with denial or hostility rather than curiosity and reflection.
It’s social media distortion. Algorithms reward youth obsession, mockery, and cruelty. Ageist jokes get likes; empathy doesn’t trend as easily.
The irony?
Ageism toward older women is self-hatred on a delay. Every younger woman who mocks aging is rehearsing how she herself will be treated later, unless she chooses to unlearn it.
Older women aren’t the problem. Or your competition. The system that taught women to fear becoming one is.
For some younger women, ageism becomes a way to enforce the rules and feel temporarily safe within them. The irony is harsh: every ageist insult aimed at older women is a rehearsal for how society may one day treat them.
A woman left an interesting comment on my Instagram post about this subject — something I hadn’t given much thought to before. She said that many of these young women spewing ageist bile toward older women grow up to become older women who resent very young girls. I thought about it and realized I grew up around a few girlfriends who were openly angry in our early twenties when boys they liked chose older women. Today, those same women smirk at very young women.
That cycle of hell sent shivers down my spine. It has to be our mission in life, however hard it may be to contain your emotions or your regret, to never allow yourself to become either of those examples. A woman, at any age, is the only person who understands exactly what you went through and what you will go through.
We simply have to break this cycle.
